To Blindly Believe
by ronanissexy
Summary: She had stopped questioning things. She had blindly believed in everything those people had told her. It had only ruined her. When Hermione gets some news that shocks her to the core. No one can predict the way it effects her. Very out of character.
1. To be blinded by Lies

The girl stares ahead of her, looking at everything but seeing nothing.

Her sight had blurred an hour ago and is steadily getting worse.

Deep inside she knows that her actions are wrong but she can't find it in her to care.

She lifts her hand to her eye level and shakes. The unintelligible shape sloshes and a weak smile graces her face.

She brings it to her mouth and takes a swig swallowing it all down. The liquid has long since stopped burning on the way down. Now it just suppresses the horrible truth and dulls the sharp edges of her life.

A horrible sound chokes itself up her throat and out of her mouth as she laughs at that thought.

Life? What life?

Everything she knows and everything she thought she knew was a lie.

They had lied to her for 17 years and she had never suspected a thing.

That goes to show that complacency can make you weak. She had stopped questioning things. She had blindly believed in everything _those _people had told her.

It had only ruined her.

**Just something that came to me late last night. Review please. ****  
.Ronan xx**


	2. Only What was Necessary

A single heart wrenching sob broke forth from the girl's mouth as the words replay themselves over and over in her mind.

"_You're adopted."_

The noise ripped a hole through the girl's parents and they moved towards her.

The seemingly catatonic girl ripped herself away from the heartless people attempting to console her.

No words came forth, not a sound broke the tense silence that enveloped them.

The girl took one look at the people she thought she knew and fled from the room.

Nothing made sense anymore and the girl felt like she had fallen into Edvard Munch's Scream. The whole world had warped and twisted until it was barely recognisable.

On the way out of the house she blindly grabbed at one of the bottles to her left. She had enough sense around her to remember that the substance inside the bottle would help her forget. If at least, for a little while.

She stepped outside and started walking. She had no destination in mind only the unquenchable need to get as far away from that place as possible.

As she was walking the girl undid the bottle and gulped down a mouthful of the liquid. The amber coloured alcohol burned down her throat and she gasped as soon as she swallowed. It didn't taste at all appealing but it was as necessary as air to the girl at that point.

All she could think of was the peaceful oblivion she knew the liquid could give her.

So she drank, and drank and while she imbibed, she walked. She walked until her feet ached and she felt relief every time she lifted her feet only to receive a sharp stabbing burst when she put her foot back down again.

She refused to think, she refused to feel anything other than the pain and the feeling of unawareness that was sneaking up on her.

The air around her that had once been bitingly freezing had dulled to a mere annoying chill. The rose coloured light that had once surrounded her, tempting her to see the brighter side of life had since faded until all that was left was the harsh reality of night. Her once dry cheeks now held the undeniable tracks of tears trailing down her face.

To anyone that had seen the girl, it would appear that she was drowning her sorrows and crying her eyes out.

But in reality the girl was only doing what she believed was necessary to survive.

To forget.

Written while listening to Circles by Birds Of Tokyo.

**So... anyone like it? Not sure where its going at the moment but I'm sure we'll all find out. **** Review please.  
.Ronan xx**


	3. The Muggles

Eventually when her eyes fell closed she was forced to stop. Although her sluggish mind was screaming at her to keep going her body had rebelled. She took one last halting step forward and crumpled. Her body collapsed and landed on the frigid concrete bellow her.

She no idea where she was. She knew that she had travelled some distance as the blinding lights of the city had long since faded and the natural light of the full moon fell upon her in its unending gaze.

All conscious thought had since fled her mind and all that was left was the command to drink. To drink and forget.

So she drank.

She drank until the bottle that had once been full such a frighteningly short time ago was empty and useless. She rolled it away from her body and tried to make sense of the blurred garbled mess that her brain was trying to process.

She watched through her half lidded eyes as the judgeless moon made its decent into day and the last thing that ran through her mind was a soul crushing _alone_.

* * *

When reality once again dawned on her, she wished emphatically that it would leave. With consciousness came awareness and with that came the knowledge that she had been lied to for her whole life. That made her furious and also horribly miserable. Who could you trust if not your parents? Who could you trust to tell you the truth no matter what than the people who had raised you from birth?

As she woke, her mind automatically ran down on her condition. She had a splitting headache as well as a dull throb that encompassed her whole body. She was also freezing and her body wracked with shivers every twenty seconds or so.

It was then that she heard the voices.

Soft at first but they grew steadily louder. She tried to force her eyes open but her body wouldn't comply. It had shut down on her. Nothing would work. She tried to move her arms but as much as she tried, as hard as she focused, they would not even twitch.

The voices surrounded her now. Calling out to her, asking whether she could hear them.

Then came the hands. They shook her slightly and rolled her over. When she was lying on her back they touched her neck, pressing in gently but firmly. She heard a rattle and a smash but could not figure out what would lead to such a sound so she ignored it.

The fingers left her skin and she heard someone say that an ambulance was on its way.

Had she been able to, the girl would have protested and said that she was fine, but for once, her body got its wish and she was unable to refuse the help offered.

As the girl heard the voices fading in and out strangely, she felt something heavy being draped over her and briefly panicked, the material didn't cover her face however so she calmed down.

The girl drifted in and out of awareness until the sound of sirens started to deafen her. She heard the sound of a car pulling up and then chaos broke loose. Loud noises rained down, people surrounded her and started fiddling with her body. She felt hands on multiple extremities as well as fingers on her neck again. They tried to rouse her but the girl still could not make her body move.

_Lies_! It was all she could think about. How her family had betrayed her. She could not stop the thought that maybe it would be better if she didn't wake up. Then she wouldn't have to face the liars again. She wondered idly if the doctors would know what her name was.

Suddenly, she wasn't touching the ground anymore. She was suspended in mid air for an instant and then placed on something soft. Then she was wrapped in more material and had the feeling of being thawed. Her shivers lessened in violence as she was placed in what she assumed was the ambulance, until they eventually stopped all together. After a while, she found that it was getting easier to think. She still could not open her eyes but she could now feel her legs rather than the two blocks that had taken up the space below her navel. She felt a prick on the inside of her elbow and after a minute fatigue rolled through her body. If her eyes had been open they would have dropped close. As it was she just fell asleep.

* * *

When the girl once again returned to consciousness, she had a moment of perfect peace when she remembered nothing of the horrible night before. Then her brain caught up with her body and all the lies came back, saturating her happy state, sinking it into the deep recesses of her mind until all that was left was misery.

She did find however that she could finally open her eyes. They closed immediately though as the harsh light burned them. Blinking hard she finally opened her eyes and looked around.

She was in a muggle hospital, hooked up to at least three machines. An incessant beeping noise was permeating the silence and making her already throbbing head feel worse. She had only been in a non-magical hospital once in her life and that was before Hogwarts. She thought it was really rather quaint.

She sat up in her bed and looked around. The walls were a fluorescent white with a blue strip running through them which made the room look wide and spacious but at the same time contained. There was a lonely looking chair in the corner that had been furbished in a dull grey. What the girl didn't understand is why muggles and indeed wizarding hospitals had to furnish every ward in dull and drab colours. If they added some colour and spruced it up a little bit it would create a slightly warmer atmosphere, rather than the deathly depressing vibe that nearly every health clinic gave off.

The girl was still lost in her musings when a person wrapped in a white lab coat opened the door and walked in. "Ah, you're awake. Good." The girl's head snapped around to stare at the women that had unceremoniously barged into her room. The girl's mind told her that she was a professional and therefore needed no ceremony to enter a patient's room.

"How are you feeling?" the doc inquired. The girl did a mental run through of her whole body and decided that other than the killer headache she was relatively alright. "Other than a headache, I'm okay."

The doc nodded and reached into her pocket bringing out a small cylindrical metal object. The doctor checked the girl's pupils and then handed her two small white tablets along with a drink. "You should be fine, drink these down." The girl complied and sculled the water down, surprised at how thirsty she was. The doctor noticed and refilled her glass.

When she was sated, the doctor started to ask some questions. "Can you tell me your name?" The girl started. Even though she knew she didn't have any I.D on her when she left the house, she guessed that the people would already know. Briefly, she thought of denying the doctor that piece of information, willing to brave all the trouble just so she didn't have to see the liars again. She knew however that they would find out eventually.

Muggles weren't magically advanced but they were still smart when it came to some things. The girl sighed deeply and geared herself up for everything that was going to happen. As she replied, her inner self waved goodbye to the relative peace that had settled with her stay in the hospital and begrudgingly welcomed the cacophony of darker emotions that settled in her psyche.

"My name is Hermione Granger."

* * *

_**Finally, I can start to use her name. Gah it's so annoying having to say she all the time. Then again it was my fault and therefore self inflicted. No sympathy. Review please. :) Oh and Happy New Year to everybody!**_

_**Oh and as i completely forgot to do these in my first two chapters... I own none of these characters. They belong to the amazingly talented J.K Rowling. I'm also going to leave this as a story long disclaimer as i will no doubt forget in many others :)**_


	4. Truly Terrified

**I own nothing but my brain and a keyboard... The rest is all J.K Rowling. **

It was brought to my attention that i made a truly grievous mistake in my disclaimer when i posted the other day and i just wanted to apologise profusely. I was reading a different story just before i wrote it and S. Meyer was on my brain. Again i apologise. :S

* * *

The response Hermione got to her rather monumental admission was really rather anticlimactic.

"Okay Hermione, is there someone we can call for you? Your Parents?" Before she could even think about it, Hermione's head was shaking a rather adamant no. The Doctor frowned; she knew she could not tell anyone about Hermione's situation without breaking patient doctor confidentiality. However she still needed to tell someone about her.

Hermione looked at the doctor in front of her and knew without a doubt that she wanted to find someone that was related to her. The first thing Hermione needed to find out was where exactly she was. Then she needed to get discharged immediately. She wanted to go home, find her wand and put a full body bind on the liars. She needed some answers now that she was in a slightly better mind frame to receive them.

She looked away from the white walls she had been staring at and looked at the doctor. "What hospital am I in?" The doctor replied that she was in Central Middlesex Hospital. Hermione started. She had walked that far?

She shook her head to clear it if all unnecessary thought and concentrated on what she needed to know. "When can I leave?" She asked, her voice regaining that inquisitive tone that made people want to impart their knowledge.

"I really don't think you're ready to be discharged yet. You're recovering from a mild case of hyperthermia. You need to be under supervision for at least another day yet."

Hermione almost lost hope at those words, but then remembered that other than a small case of underage drinking, she had done nothing wrong and they could not hold her here.

"I will take your advice under consideration, but I really need to get out of here as soon as possible. Please, can you discharge me?" The doctor's eye brows furrowed and drew together and her frown deepened. Hermione knew that it went against the grain for the lady to let her go when she still needed help but there was nothing for it. Any remaining maladies, Hermione could fix herself when she had access to her wand again.

The doctor nodded sullenly and stood up. "I will see to your discharge papers as quickly as possible." Hermione offered the doctor a small smile but received nothing in return.

When the lady had left she sank into her pillows and wondered what the hell she was going to do. She had no money, no I.D. Nothing that could help her get home. She briefly considered Apparating but didn't really want to bring the wrath of the Ministry down on her. As she was left with no other options, she knew that she would have to walk. At least the time it would take to get home would give her time to figure out what the hell she was going to do about her _parents._

* * *

It was the sound of a door crashing into the wall that woke Hermione from a sleep she didn't know she had entered. Her eyes focused, her hands rubbing them free of the blurriness.

Hermione gasped in shock as she realised that two fully uniformed cops were standing in her doorway.

"Hermione Granger?" They questioned. It was really more like a conformation as they already knew who she was. Hermione's answering nod was shaky and nervous.

What the hell had she done to warrant police involvement? Then she remembered the underage drinking and the leaving home without telling the liars where she was going. Her nervousness receded as the knowledge came to her.

"Your parents have been worried sick about you." Deep down, hidden away in the bottom of her heart, Hermione knew those words to be true; however her mind was still fresh with the knowledge of their deceit, so she could muster up no guilt only scorn and derision.

"That's a load of crap, my parents really don't care, but I guess you have to take me back there don't you." Their expression's changed at her words, their eyebrows rising in surprise. They said nothing but merely nodded.

Hermione sighed and looked down at herself. "Would you be so kind as to inquire where my clothes are?" The two men blushed and left her room as quick as they had entered. Hermione smirked at their discomfort and was still chortling slightly when the doctor came in bearing her clothes.

She closed the door behind her denying entry to the cops. "I know you already said you want to leave, but I can tell them you're in no fit state to leave if you don't want to go with them." Hermione was deeply touched by the doctors words and considered taking her up on her offer if only to show her appreciation. However she knew that there was no point in delaying the inevitable.

She put her hand on the doctors arm and smiled, "Thank you, that so very kind of you, but as much as I don't want to, I really should go with them. Thank you though." The doctor smiled softly and left Hermione to get changed.

Sighing and building up her courage, Hermione stood up and walked around a bit. Her headache had left with the help of the doc's drugs but she was still a little stiff in her extremities. She guessed that that was a usual consequence of hypothermia though.

She dressed slowly, wishing that she had a hair tie. As it was she had to leave her hair down and it was a mess. She sighed, today wasn't going to get any better she thought, so she steeled herself and left the room to seek out the cops that were going to give her a free ride home.

She found them leaning on the counter, talking up the nurses that were there. She smiled at this semblance of normal life. She walked over to one and cleared her throat, raising her eyebrows when they turned to look at her.

They blushed slightly and Hermione laughed outright. "Well, if your finished can we get this over with?" She knew that this was no way to treat law enforcement officers but she couldn't bring herself to care.

They nodded and started out towards the door. Hermione was about to follow when someone pulled on her arm. She turned around to see her doctor offering her a hair clip. Hermione hugged her for her kindness and smiled goodbye. "Thank you."

Hermione turned and followed the cops out, tying her hair up as she went. She climbed into the back of the car and answered the police with her address when they asked. "12 Scrubs Lane, Kensal Green."

They nodded and pulled out off the hospital parking lot. The trip only took about ten minutes but already Hermione was feeling an amazing amount of different emotions swirling around her body.

She was slightly nervous about how her parents would react, but then she was angry at herself for even caring. Then mixed in was fury for being lied to, sadness at the loss of the comfortable stability that she had come to love for 17 years and chagrin for not seeing it sooner.

Hermione's heart sped up as the cruiser pulled up to her house. She took a deep breath and stepped out of the car, walking up to the door flanked by the two cops. Before she could even lift a hand to turn the door handle, the door flew open and her _mother_ pulled Hermione into a hug.

Before Jean Granger could fully get her arms around her daughter she was thrust backwards. "Don't you even dare." Came the deadly quiet response from Hermione.

Jean stepped aside and let her fuming daughter inside and quickly thanked the police before closing the door and following her daughter upstairs.

She found her ripping apart her room in search for something. "Hermione, What are you doing?" Hermione didn't even turn around as she replied.

"I'm looking for my wand _mother._" She spat out. "For your sake, you better not be here when I find it."

Jean looked at her daughter and gasped when she turned around, looking at the truly feral look on her face.

For the first time in 17 years, Jean was truly and utterly terrified of her own daughter.

**

* * *

**

**So, thoughts?  
I am going away for the next four days so it will be silent on my end. Thank you for reading!  
.Ronan x**


	5. Silence

**I own nothing. J.K Rowling is the man... Or in this case woman.**

* * *

It seemed as if Hermione's mind returned to her when her fingers closed around her wand.

The red haze that had descended on her vision at the sight of her 'mother' reseeded and with that ebbing of her fury returned her ability to think clearly.

Hermione was horrified at the thought of using her magic against these people. Her eyes flicked up to the terrified visage of her mother and the sick feeling in her stomach intensified.

Her wand slipped from her fingers and clattered to the ground. "Forgive me." She whispered brokenly.

Pushing past her mother she fled down the stairs. Not wanting a repeat of the cops taking her home, Hermione yelled out that she would return and fell through the door into the fresh air of outside. For the second time in as many days, Hermione ran. This time though, she had enough wits about her to go somewhere close.

She ran to the park that was close to her home and collapsed on the grass and stared uncomprehendingly at her hands.

Hermione couldn't understand the intense need she had felt to punish those people. Somewhere deep inside her brain a little voice was egging her on, telling her that they had lied to her by omission, every single day of her life. They deserved to be punished. It said. While the calm, intellectual rational side of her brain told her that these people, though they were not her biological parents, they were still her mother and father. While it was true that they lied, they had also loved and cared for her, every single day she had been in their lives. They had put a roof over her head, had fed her, clothed her, and treated her with respect and dignity. Her mind shuddered to speculate what she might have turned out like if the Grangers had not taken her in.

Hermione looked up and studied where she had ended up. She was in Wormwood Scrubs Park, a popular place for people to come and spend their days. There was a cricket pitch, tennis courts, and a huge play ground.

Hermione looked around at all the people that were occupying the place. She had never really paid much attention to the lives of people outside her own little bubble, but as she lay here in the grass contemplating the mess that her life was, Hermione started to notice little things about the muggles.

Contrary to many Wizarding families' perceptions, they really weren't that different to the magical community.

She watched as adoring parents played with their children, all smiles as fathers threw their giggling children in the air and caught them. Young lovers sneaking up on each other and surprising each other with flowers and chocolates and other such things. She looked around and saw elderly couples and singles sitting on benches just reading. They were so happy and carefree. No one in this world had had to deal with a controlling maniacal despot in a long time. They certainly weren't any worse for wear from it.

Hermione couldn't help but wonder if life could have been infinitely easier if she had been born a muggle.

Of course she knew that they had their own problems, many the same as wizards but they just seemed to have it so much simpler and more enjoyable.

Switching off her ever working brain for a moment, Hermione sat back and took in the beauty of the park. Concentrating on the little details, she felt a small smile grace her lips for the first time in two days. She could smell the sweet aroma of the apple grass that she lay upon. She closed her eyes and revelled in the small amount of sun that snuck through the cloud cover as it warmed her skin slightly. She heard the sound of laughter and the babble of words, behind that she heard the happy sound of birds chirping.

Hermione just lay there and took in all the delights to her senses. It felt so good to let go of all the tension and just live.

Eventually though, all her previous thoughts began to filter in through her mind, slowly at first until she ended up sitting and holding her head attempting to get all the warring sides of her brain to agree.

Although they all had different opinions there was one thing that they agreed upon. Hermione definitely did not yet forgive her parents for what they had done. Not only had they lied, but they had lied for _so_ long! So no, Hermione was not yet ready to forgive and forget. She did however see that she had to go back there. It was still her home, no matter what had disturbed the peace.

After an hour or so of mashing her thoughts together, she decided that silence was the best defence. She decided that answers to any questions she asked would only bring her more pain and anger. So really the best course of action was to remain quiet. She would go back and live out the last two weeks of the holidays then return to a place that did not question her.

Hogwarts accepted Hermione for the girl she was. While the students were assholes some of the time, her teachers respected her and she could bury herself in her work. With her mind made up, Hermione slowly rose and started to make her way back to her home.

* * *

Darkness descended on Hermione as she walked home.

The sounds she had delighted upon while lying in the grass at the park changed and grew more sinister.

She was not afraid, never had seen the point in being scared of the dark. All one needed to do was turn on a light and the darkness went away. She smiled as she heard the sound of a hooting owl. Crickets started up and the steady stream of high pitched calling surrounded her, invading her mind and erasing all the hectic fury and pain.

Soon the only thing she could hear, the only thing she could think was the calling of the crickets.

Lifting her head, she saw she was standing in front of her house. Taking a deep breath she pushed open the front door and walked inside. There, sitting on the couch was John and Jean Granger. The television was not going, there was no music. No sound at all except for the gentle hum of the appliances. It was silent in the house as Hermione's parents stared morosely at each other, looking up when they heard the sound of the door opening.

Jumping up they stood next to each other and gazed at their daughter wearily.

"Good night." Hermione spoke quietly and once again disappeared up the stairs.

John and Jean looked at each other, both relieved and worried at the lack of emotion from their daughter. She had not yelled, she had not screamed. She hadn't even wanted to talk. Concerned but not brave enough to actually go up the stairs and talk they resigned themselves to broaching that subject in the morning.

No one slept well that night, especially not the troubled parents that had wanted nothing more than to show an unfortunate soul a life of love and happiness.

_**So, I'm really not very happy with this chapter but there it is, It's short but then again so are many of my chapters. Sorry it took me so long to update, like I said I was away and RL has been a little hectic.  
Anywho, if you're reading, give me a bell and share your thoughts. :)  
.Ronan xx**_


	6. The same but different

**J K Rowling owns it all.**

* * *

The next two weeks saw Hermione slowly changing into someone not quite the same but not quite different than she used to be. She looked the same; she still ate the same things, dressed the same way.

Those things did not change.

Rather, it was her demeanour. She no longer spoke to her parents the way she used to. In fact, Jean and John were lucky if their daughter spoke to them at all.

Hermione's school books remained unread when she brought them home from Diagon Alley. Instead of immediately devouring them as she normally would, they stayed in the bags they came in and were stored on top of her trunk.

Hermione did as she usually did the last two weeks and left to people watch at the park. Not one day had gone by that Hermione hadn't been sitting on that grass, watching and attempting to get her mind back to the place it had been.

She had very little success, but she did manage to find some modicum of inner peace. It was this peace that she called upon when saying goodbye to her parents at King's Cross station. She gave each of them a stiff nod before picking up her bag and wheeling her trolley away.

"Hermione! Wait!" Hermione stiffened as she heard John's voice. She turned around and stared at him, her face not showing any emotion whatsoever. John walked up to his daughter and hugged her, not caring about her lack of response. "I know that this may be hard for you to believe, but your mother and I love you with everything we have. I know that it was a shock for you to get that information but we felt it was time. I'm truly sorry that we hurt you and I know that you're not very happy with us at the moment, but just remember that we love you okay? If you remember nothing else, just remember that." John released the unresponsive girl just in time to see her emotionless mask crack minutely. She recovered so quickly though, that he couldn't have been sure that it really happened. She gave him another stiff nod and walked away, not looking back once.

Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley didn't notice any change in their best friend when they hugged her. Indeed, it was very hard to discern any change in her at all. Not unless you were looking at her close enough.

Hermione's eyes, once soft molten amber, had hardened and deepened until they glinted rather than swirled. Two weeks ago, they would have been a shinning accomplice to the soft smile on her face. Now they looked slightly out of place.

Of course, the boys, ever out of sorts at the thought of anything more than surface emotions noticed nothing.

However there was one person who noticed a difference. She also noticed how hard Hermione was trying to make it look like there was nothing wrong that she decided to keep it to herself until she had a chance to privately confront her.

Hermione sighed quietly with longing. She just wished that she could skip the train ride and fall into her bed at Hogwarts. She wondered if she would get her own room this year. Did Head Girl get her own room or was she just to share like she did every other year? She had nothing against sharing with the other girls in her year but their incessant chatter about boys and the like was likely to drive her up the wall this year.

With her mind on her newly appointed Head Girl status, Hermione wondered how on Earth she was going to be able to deal with Draco being her partner. She knew that he couldn't possibly be as bad as he made himself out to be, but that didn't mean that he still wasn't perfectly horrid to her at times.

Although usually she hated men like that, she fervently hoped that he was one of those boys that behaved completely different when not in the company of his male friends. She sighed again and followed Ron into their usual compartment.

Everyone around her was chatting happily and catching up but she couldn't help but feel slightly out of place now. What would her friends say if she told them about what happened to her? In the back of her mind she knew that they would be supportive and be everything she needed of them. However her self esteem and general self worth had inexplicably taken a hit when she found out her news and it was telling her that maybe they would think less of her.

Hermione shook her head as she realised that someone was speaking to her. "Sorry, what was that?" She asked a little ruefully. Everyone around her shook their heads, each of them smiling slightly. They were all used to Hermione completely zoning out of the conversation.

All but one assumed that she was thinking about the upcoming year and all the work that would have to be done. Harry smiled at her and repeated his question. "How was your holiday 'mione?"

A decidedly un-ladylike snort slipped out of Hermione before she could stop herself. Her eyes widened slightly as she looked around the carriage. Somehow between her sitting down and now, Luna and Neville had appeared and were now looking at her with avid interest.

"Yeah, it was... um... Interesting." Something in Hermione snapped when she heard how much of an understatement that really was. Before she could stop it a small giggle slipped out and then before she knew it she was holding her stomach, laughing while tears slipped down her face. She wasn't quite sure whether they were from the laughter or whether the dam had finally broken.

Thankfully Ginny seemed to think it was something to do with the latter and led her out of the compartment, ignoring the bewildered stares of her friends.

Try as she might, Hermione still couldn't get herself under control so Ginny forced her into the bathroom just off from their compartment. "Hermione!" Ginny called, trying to get through to the hysterical witch. "Hermione!"

Finally, though not without struggle, Hermione managed to get herself under control. "Shit is so fucked up Gin." Hermione whispered after wiping her eyes. They had looking at each other in silence for a little while now and Ginny was worried that Hermione still hadn't said anything. Her words only confuse her more though.

"Hermione, what the hell happened to you over the summer?" Hermione stared at her friend and tried to convince herself to tell Ginny what had messed her up so much. Ginny had always been there. She had held her hand when she had received her O., had let her cry on her shoulder when shit got too much, had held her hair back when she had gotten smashed for the first time and had vomited and retched for at least two hours straight, had helped her steel ice cream from the kitchens when she had been craving it like a bitch. Ginny was her closest friend. She could do this.

Hermione slid down the wall she had been leaning on and wrapped her arms around her legs and rested her head on her arms. The smell of lavender assaulted her senses and lulled her into a false sense of calm.

Ginny noticed how worn down and tired Hermione looked and sat next to her, wrapping her arms around her. "I got some news a couple of weeks ago Gin. It fucked everything up. _They _fucked everything up. Everything was going well and then they had to go say that shit and everything just splintered."

Ginny tried to make sense of what the distraught witch was saying but couldn't really make heads or tails of it. "What happened 'mione?" Ginny prodded again. She knew from experience that Hermione always felt better about things once she got a chance to talk them over with someone. What she didn't know however was how much Hermione's parent's revelation had shaken the witch.

"I'm adopted Gin," Hermione whispered. Ginny couldn't stop the gasp that slipped past her lips. "Oh, honey." Ginny wrapped the older girl in her embrace and rocked her gently shushing her through her sobs.

Ginny couldn't ever imagine being told something like that. Not for the first time, Ginny sat cradling Hermione in her arms as the distressed witch cried herself out. She guessed that this was the first time Hermione had told anyone about it.

When Hermione finally had herself under control again, Ginny stood her up and made her wash her face. "You'll feel better hun, trust me." Hermione nodded and splashed her face thoroughly with freezing water.

Hermione felt so good deterring to someone else for a brief moment. To just not think, to surrender to what they wanted her to do. Ginny told her to dry her face and tell her what happened.

After the whole sordid tale was out in the open, Ginny hugged Hermione once again, nearly crushing her with the force of her arms. No tears came this time. She was all cried out. She pulled away from the youngest red head and looked into her eyes. "Please don't tell anyone Gin, not even Harry or Ron."

It didn't really surprise Ginny that Hermione had no plans to share this information with the boys. They weren't exactly the most empathetic types. That didn't mean that she agreed with her. "Hermione, you really should tell them." Seeing Hermione was about to object she put her hand over her mouth and shushed her. "Seriously, I know that they can be inconsiderate assholes sometimes, but they love you. You KNOW that, no matter what you might be going through, they will always be there for you. Even Ronald."

Hermione nodded and replied that she would think about it. Slightly mollified, Ginny checked her over once more and led them both back to the compartment. Luna had wandered off to be with her fellow Ravenclaws, so it was just the boys.

They were all looking at Hermione like she had lost her mind. "Sorry guys!" Ginny announced; an overly cheerful grin on her face. "Girl shit."

All three boys shuddered and things returned to normal. Hermione participated in the conversation and things seemed much like it usually was. When they were ten minutes out from Hogsmeade they all changed into their robes, laughing when the overall chaos had them falling over one another and messing everything up.

The carriages all lined up as they usually were had the inexplicable effect of calming Hermione down. She felt more at peace looking at the black horseless carriages waiting to be filled than she had in longer than she cared to remember.

She settled with Harry, Ron, Neville, Ginny and Luna and the seats lurched forward like they usually did. Ignoring the conversations going on around her, Hermione turned and stared ahead of her, anxious to set her sights on the huge drafty castle.

When the top spires finally came into view she let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding. A strange sort of peace settled upon her.

Tomorrow, they would get their timetables and start to go to classes. It would be wonderfully monotonous and she could lose herself in the process.

This was Hermione's seventh year; she would be graduating and moving on in the world. This year would be hectic and full of studying.

She would have no time to dwell.

At least, that was what she was telling herself.

**

* * *

****Well, I finally updated, sorry it took so long. My muse decided to go on holiday so new ideas have been slow forthcoming.  
A special shout out to punkpook and sweet-tang-honney, who review faithfully every chapter, you make me smile :D  
I am in need of a beta and was wondering if anybody knew someone that was looking for work?  
Thanks for reading  
.Ronan xx**


	7. Schrödinger's cat

Hermione finally felt at home when they entered the great hall.

The enchanted ceiling had made her smile every year to date and it did not disappoint. Hundreds of candles floated just above their heads casting an ambient glow that accented the light from the moon that filtered through.

She looked around at the four long tables that held the different houses. The green and silver of Slytherin, the yellow and black of Hufflepuff, the blue and bronze of Ravenclaw and finally the colours of her own house, Gryffindor's scarlet and gold, they all meshed together to create a mish-mash of colours that wasn't entirely unpleasant.

Her eyes roamed the Great Hall taking in all the people. Normally she would just sit in her seat and eat, but her time people-watching in the park had taught her to take more notice of those around her.

She looked over at the Ravenclaws and saw the white blonde hair of Luna Lovegood. Luna always knew what to say to make people smile. Granted, sometimes it was a smile of confusion rather than happiness, but it was a smile nonetheless.

Her eyes flowed up to the teachers table and she smiled at the hulking figure of Hagrid. He was grinning and waving at students, like he had not a care in the world.

Running along the dais she smiled at Professor McGonagall and Professor Dumbledore.

Her face remained neutral as it recognised Professor Snape. He was sitting there glaring at students that were talking too loud.

Her eyes flowed down to the Slytherin table and to the slicked back hair of Draco Malfoy. He was sitting there silently, seemingly doing the same thing she was, taking in the people.

Although she knew he would be here, it was also slightly surprising to see him sitting there. She had thought that his Mother would take him out of school at the very least but she had also thought he would have been killed by Voldemort at the very most.

He had sabotaged Voldemort's plans to take over the school. Hermione had been rather surprised when Harry told her what he had done. Apparently, Draco had been entrusted with the task of fixing the vanishing cabinets that made a gateway into Hogwarts. He had worked on it until he had fixed it, however on the night when the Death Eaters were supposed to storm the castle he had done something to the transporters that cut off access to either side of the gateway, effectively trapping the Death Eaters in there forever.

There was no more Bellatrix, no more Fenir; most of Voldemort's inner ring was now trapped in the space between cabinets.

Now that she thought about it, Hermione was really very surprised that Draco was still breathing. She shook her head and looked up as Dumbledore stood about to make his customary speech.

He opened his mouth and started his words of welcome but Hermione didn't hear a word of them. A thought had occurred to her. What if Dumbledore had known? He was the greatest wizard in the world; he had to have had some inkling.

She didn't want to sound conceited or anything but she liked to think that Dumbledore cared about her enough to tell her that she was living with the wrong parents.

Hermione's brow furrowed as she thought through her sudden thought. What if he had known? Why wouldn't he have told her? For that matter, why would he have told her?

So many questions ran through her mind that she missed the headmaster telling them all to enjoy the feast. It was only when Ginny nudged her that she noticed that the plates around her had piled high with delicious smelling food.

The sight of the feast pushed all thoughts to the back of her mind where they stewed, quiet but not forgotten.

This was one of her favourite times of the year and that feeling of home settled into her bones once more. She ate and chatted with her friends, momentarily forgetting anything other than the warm glow she was feeling.

Unfortunately, the glow only lasted for so long. The sight of Dumbledore standing up and telling them all to go to bed made all her thoughts come to the forefront of her mind.

Hermione realised that as head girl she was supposed to be directing the first years to the Gryffindor common room. She stood and drew their attention. "First years, if you will follow me, I'll show you to Gryffindor Tower." She waited as they all gathered around her and then led them off. "Stay close please, and mind the staircases. They like to move." She heard a few nervous tittles but they quickly quietened once they beheld the inside of the castle.

Many of them just stopped and looked up and down, staring at the changing staircases and the hundreds of moving pictures.

She let them have their moment then cleared her throat. "Okay people, let's move it." She commanded. She started up the stairs and made her way to the portrait of the fat lady. "Horatio's Philosophy." She said.

The fat lady nodded and swung forward on silent hinges. Once they had gathered in the common room, she told them all to remember what she had just said as only those words would let them into the tower. She directed them to their dormitories and gave them the usual spiel about Gryffindor being their family and that good behaviour was rewarded while bad behaviour was punished.

She had just turned to find professor McGonagall when the witch herself walked in through the door. "Ah, there you are Miss Granger. I trust you had a pleasant holiday." Learning her lesson from the last time someone said something of that nature, Hermione's only response was a wry smile and a curt nod.

"You will be sharing a dormitory with Mr Malfoy this year, so if you will, I shall show you to where you shall be staying." Hermione nodded again and followed her head of house down a flight of stairs and around a corner stopping at a portrait of an elderly woman reading a book in a seemingly endless library.

She turned as she heard footsteps and came face to face with Draco Malfoy and Professor Snape. She forced herself to smile politely but all she received for her efforts was a curt nod from the professor and a sneer from Malfoy.

She shook her head and turned back to McGonagall. "Alright, this will be your dormitory for the next year. You will need to pick a password between the two of you." Hermione and Draco nodded and the two heads of houses walked away. "Granger." Draco acknowledged. Hermione smiled softly and responded with an equally dry "Draco."

She wasn't in the mood to pass insults back and forth. She just wanted to go inside and go to sleep, all the while ignoring her brain.

"Come on Malfoy; let's just do this so I can go to sleep." Draco Malfoy looked at Hermione and finally noticed that something was different. She usually couldn't stop talking to save her life even when in the presence of a Slytherin. But she was deadly silent; her whole aura seemed to have a defeated vibe.

Malfoy shrugged but filed this away for future reference. "Well, what do you suggest that we use as a password?" He inquired. Hermione shrugged and thought of something that would be appropriate.

An idea popped into her head, making her smile, but then realised that Malfoy wouldn't understand. Draco noticed the smile and wondered what had caused it. "What?" He asked. "Did you think of something?" Hermione bit her lip and shook her head.

"Don't be troublesome Granger, just spit it out." Hermione sighed, "I was thinking about the situation that the death eaters are in and it just made me think of Schrödinger's cat, that's all."

Hermione almost gasped when Draco smiled so big that she could see his teeth. "That's great Granger!" he chortled.

She was so shocked that she smiled back. "I didn't think that you would know about it."

Draco's smile fell but didn't disappear completely. "I do read Granger." He paused for a moment. "However, if you tell anyone that I'll have to hex you." He said, good naturedly.

Hermione nodded her smile still in place and realised that she was having a decent conversation... with Malfoy. She had been right, he wasn't a complete bastard at least he wasn't without his friends.

He turned to the portrait and said clearly, "Schrödinger's cat" The lady looked up from her book and nodded swinging forward on her hinges. We walked in and stood, studying at the interior. It had a huge fireplace embedded against one wall, its glowing contents casting flickering shadows across the rest of the room.

It had a decidedly muggle couch setup around the fire. In an open rectangle were three couches, each capable of seating three people. The wall opposite was completely covered in bookshelves that had been filled with all manner of books. The wall adjacent to both of the others had a big archway in the middle of it that opened to a grand staircase that branched off in two different directions. On either side of the arch was a desk.

Hermione and Draco both assumed that they were for their school work; the room was decorated with earthy colours, not conforming to either house. The carpet was a dark green almost black colour, while the couches were brown with dark beige coloured cushions resting on top.

They turned to each other and Hermione smiled timidly, "Well, good night." Draco nodded and moved off to the staircase and disappeared to the right.

Hermione assumed that both rooms would be relatively alike. She followed him up but turned to the left.

Opening the only door she found she stepped into a rather large room. It housed a queen size bed with gold and scarlet sheets. There was a small fireplace in the corner that was crackling merrily. A second desk akin to the one downstairs was pushed up against a wall.

She turned and noticed another door. She opened it and found herself looking at the biggest bath she had ever seen. It was even bigger than the one in the prefect's bathroom.

Hermione couldn't wait to try it out but she knew that if she got in tonight she would dwell on things and she just wasn't in the right frame of mind for that. She sighed in longing and closed the door.

Pulling her PJs out of her trunk she pulled them on and rummaged around for the muggle flask she had bought. Her hand struck something cold and she grasped it.

Rolling under the covers she took a deep swig of the dreamless draught she had spliced with a weak sleeping draught in the holidays and placed it on her bedside table.

Closing her eyes, Hermione was asleep before her head hit the pillow.

**Well, sorry it's been such a long time, but there is the next chapter. I'm sorry to say that we won't see much of Harry or Ron in this story. The will show up, but won't be very prominent.  
Thanks again to ****punkpook and sweet-tang-honney, who review faithfully every chapter; you guys are the bomb ;)  
P.S Any mistakes you see are my own... i still have no Beta. **


	8. Faceless

I own nothing but my brain. The rest is all J.K Rowling.

* * *

Hermione woke just as the sunlight hit her eyes. She had not closed the curtains last night before she had fallen asleep and she regretted it. She had slept amazingly and she wished that she could sleep for a little longer.

She knew that she should stop using the dreamless draught every night because she knew full well that she would develop an immunity to it, but she could not bring herself to go back to the nightmares. The horrifying images of everybody she knew flashing together all taunting her that she was so stupid that she hadn't noticed she was adopted. She woke up every night gasping for breath covered in sweat with an ache in her lower belly that she could not explain.

Hermione sighed and burrowed out from her blankets. It was just after seven and as she didn't need to be at breakfast for about an hour, she decided to have a long hot shower. She gathered her stuff and looked into the bathtub again. She so desperately wanted to try it but she also wanted to enjoy it so she once again passed it up and climbed onto the shower.

She stayed in until she was on the verge of going wrinkly and congratulated herself on keeping her mind blank. She dressed quickly and flipped her hair up into a loose bun on the top of her head. Glancing in the mirror she accepted her appearance and hurried down to their shared common room.

Malfoy was nowhere to be seen so Hermione assumed that he had already left. She took a deep breath and steadied herself for the day. It would be the first time in a long while that she would have to concentrate on something other than her own life.

In some ways she was so excited she could hardly contain herself. She was at Hogwarts, the only place that had always been truthful to her. You couldn't lie about facts. This was a place of learning; she would always be safe here.

However there was that other smaller, but equally as persistent part of her that said, how could she be so easy to put everything out of her mind? She needed to be out finding who her real parents were and why they gave her away. Did they think about her? Were they still in England? Were they even still _alive?_

All these questions and more kept running through her mind, distracting her and warring with the part that told she just needed to accept her lot and move on. It was giving her a headache and distracting her so much that she didn't even here Draco coming up behind her on her way to the Great hall and he subsequently scared the shit out of her.

"Jesus Granger, it's just me." Hermione put one of her hands over her heart and tried to calm its frantic beating. She shook her head and scolded herself inwardly for being so unaware. She just smiled weakly and he fell into step beside her.

They walked the rest of the way in silence, but strangely there was no awkward undercurrent to their quiet, merely two people walking together. They parted ways at the huge doors and each went to their own tables, both noticed however, the strange looks people gave them and picked up on the sudden whispering. Hermione shrugged it off, too busy in her own thoughts to care, Draco however, noticed all of it and his face hardened. Would this never end? Although he suspected that it was more his appearance with Granger that caused these particular whisperings rather than what he had done. He looked over at his fellow Slytherins and sighed, it was going to be a long year.

Hermione, having roused herself out of her daze enough to sit and give Harry and Ron a genuine smile. As usual at breakfast they were stuffing their faces with all of the food nearest to them.

It was nice to be surrounded with all these small idiosyncrasies; they made her feel so much better to be surrounded by people that she loved. Hermione managed once again to push her thoughts to the back of her mind and just go on base instincts.

That was until Professor McGonagall came bustling down the table with all the subtlety of a freight train and started assigning timetables. The process took longer with all the sixth years as usual as she had to check whether they had the grades to continue with subjects.

By the time the professor reached the trio, Hermione was once again distracted with her thoughts. She looked towards Dumbledore and convinced herself again that she should not under any circumstances go talk to the headmaster, it would just spread the can of open worms everywhere and she wasn't ready for that, yet, still she couldn't help wanting to go see the old wizard and almost had to hold onto the table to stop herself from getting up and confronting him.

She shook her head and tuned into the professor just in time to see her tap her wand on a piece of parchment and hand it to her. "I take it you have already read up for your subjects miss Granger?" Hermione nodded absently and took the parchment wandering out of the hall at a pace much like Luna's, slow and rather directionless.

Harry and Ron looked at each other confused. "Is it just me or does 'Mione seem different to you? More... Different?" Ron asked eloquently. Harry shrugged but resolved to corner his best friend later and get her to confess. He had noticed something was wrong at dinner last night but hadn't had the chance to ask her about it. He resigned himself that he wouldn't be spending as much time with Hermione as he would like to, her having all her head girl commitments now. He sighed and accepted his timetable from McGonagall. Looking down he smiled when he saw he had a free period but it fell when he saw he had Charms after that.

* * *

Hermione appeared in Ancient runes just as the bell was going and hurried into her seat. She sat and diligently listened to her professor speak for about twenty seconds before she realised that she had no idea what she was talking about.

With a start she remembered that she hadn't read her text books and therefore had no idea what they were doing. Her Professor required them to read ahead in class so that they didn't waste any time on unnecessary things. She shrunk in her seat and took notes not raising her hand once when a question was put to the class.

She was one of the first ones out of her seat as she hurried to her next class. She had so much reading to catch up on and no free periods to do it in. She cursed herself for being so stupid and the minute she was seated next to Harry and Ron, she pulled out her Runes book and set about to reading.

Harry and Ron looked at each other and smiled, to them it seemed like she was back to her same old bookworm self. They turned back to Professor Flitwick and took sparse notes on the lesson unfolding around them. Hermione, so caught up in her readying, failed to take any notes on the subject she was actually in and ended up playing catch up the entire day.

By the time the school was heading down to dinner, Hermione Granger was sitting in her room close to tears, furious at herself for getting so behind on the first day. She had every single one of her book open in front of her and she was attempting to read them all simultaneously. She had hated doing so, but earlier in the day she had asked Neville for his class notes. While Neville was hopeless at the practical aspects of many things, he always kept meticulous notes on their theory.

It was to him that she had staggered to at lunch time her hair a complete mess and her eyes taking on a slightly mad look to beg for his work. He had handed them over readily enough but with a heavy dose of confusion, why on earth did Hermione need his notes? He shrugged it off and concluded that maybe she wanted to double check some things.

It was well after midnight when Hermione finally fell face first into bed. She was so tired that she didn't even take her potions, an oversight that she regretted when she woke up crying out at 8:35 the next morning.

"SHIT!" she yelled. Ripping herself free of the cocoon she had made of her bed sheets, she fell into the shower and washed herself in record time. Magically drying herself she threw on her robes and thrust all her books into the magically enlarged bag she had prepared for this year and catapulted herself down the stairs and out to her first class which happened to be potions.

She thrust open the door and almost collapsed into tears when she noticed she was late. She hadn't been late for class once in the seven years she had been here. Professor Snape turned around from the board her was writing on and sneered at her. "My, my Miss Granger, you're very late. 50 points from Gryffindor for your tardiness, take a seat."

Hermione nodded ashen faced and collapsed into the open seat in between Ron and Seamus. Keeping herself in check, Hermione would not let the offending tears fall, instead she rummaged around in her bag until she found her book and a quill and set to writing down what was on the board.

She didn't get very far before the images from her nightmare caught up with her and she started to tremble slightly. She hated seeing the usually open and happy faces of her friends twisted in a cruel smirk telling her she was a useless witch that didn't even recognise her own missing heritage.

She had been standing in the middle of a huge room with people surrounding her on all sides shouting horrible words at her. All of a sudden they had gone quiet and two faceless people had walked through the crowed and stopped in front of her. Hermione didn't mean that they were merely hard to see pr they had been in the shadows, she meant faceless in the truest sense of the word. It was like someone had taken two people and erased their facial features. They had no eyes, no nose, and no mouth, only skin. They had reached out to her and that was when she had awoken.

Her trembling had gotten worse and she noticed that the page she had been writing on was now smudged with ink that had fallen from her quill. "Miss Granger, I do not know nor do I care about what you are doing, but if you wish to continue my class, then you will start copying down what I have written. Do I make myself clear?"

Hermione blushed a furious red and nodded, scrunching up her parchment and beginning again. She knew without a doubt that today wasn't going to end well.

**

* * *

**

**Hello everybody,  
Sorry this took so long to get out, lots of work and the flu keep me away from the keyboard.  
Anywho, I hope that this chapter is okay, any mistakes are mine as I still have no beta.  
Thanks for reading,  
.Ronan**


	9. Betrayed

I own nothing. J.K Rowling is the man.

* * *

Hermione sat at her desk and started to take notes. They started out meticulous like Neville's but after a while she started to calm down and her emotions take over distracting her with things that she shouldn't be thinking.

Did her dreams have meaning? Was there a point to the horrible images that kept battering her eyelids?

She looked down to her paper and saw that she had drawn the horrible faces that haunt her dreams and she flinched and scribbled them out like a woman possessed. What on earth? Had she been drawing them while she was thinking? What the hell was wrong with her?

"You have forty minutes to complete the potion. Ingredients are in the storage room, you may begin." Hermione looked up, terrified. What potion? What were they doing? Fuck, she'd spaced out, again!

She took a deep breath and walked into the supply closet. Taking a furtive look around she faced a corner and pinched her arm hard enough that tears sprung up in her eyes. The pain cleared her mind and her fatigue was swept away.

She summoned her notes and looked at the potion they were supposed to be brewing. Thankfully she had written down the ingredients and she gathered what she needed and got to work.

She may have spaced out but making potions was what she was best at. All you had to do was read and follow the words. She didn't understand how people managed to get it so very wrong.

Rushing, she managed to get the potion finished just in time. Looking around she blushed to realise that nearly the whole class had finished before her. Swallowing her pride she stoppered a sample and went to place it on the professor's desk.

Not wanting to miss an opportunity to ridicule her, Snape sneered, "My, my Miss Granger. Cutting it a little close don't you think? Even Longbottom managed to finish before you. Not slipping are we?"

Holding back tears at the words that hit far too close to home, Hermione turned and with her head down, ignored all the chuckles from the Slytherin side of the room and gathered up her things hoping that the bell would ring. She missed the slight frown on Draco's face. He had never seen Granger finish so late before in seven years. Something was definitely wrong. Shaking his head he plastered an aloof smirk on his face and laughed with his fellow Slytherins.

One of the first people out of class, Hermione slipped into the girl's bathroom and barricaded herself in one of the toilets and pressed her palms to her eyes pressing until the tears went away and all she could see was blooming colours.

Taking a deep breath she pulled herself together and jogged to transfiguration. Sitting next to Neville she refused to let her mind wander and focused solely on Professor McGonagall's words.

She took notes and listened but didn't answer any questions. She hadn't read the text yet and didn't want to get anything wrong. Her class mates didn't understand what was wrong with her but they had all noticed.

The first days of the year was when Granger liked to show off the most. No one else ever got a word in, except in potions. It was almost unsettling to see her silent. She hadn't raised her hand once. As far off base her class mates were with their silent musings, they were right about one thing. Hermione always answered most questions on the first days but not for reasons that everybody else assumed.

Her blood status was not something Hermione liked to be constantly reminded about but it was hard. All the Slytherins were constantly rubbing her face in it and she hated that it was her defining factor.

So she tried to build a different reputation for herself. She liked to be smart, it was her safety net. If she got good grades and was smart then at least she had something to her name. She hated thinking like this but in the word she lived in it was necessary.

That was until her parents dropped that bombshell on her. What if she wasn't a Muggleborn? She hadn't stuck around long enough to ask any questions when they had first told her and she hadn't exactly been in a chatty mood for the last two weeks.

What if her birth parents were magical? What had happened to them to make them give her up? Or there was the flip side of the coin and she was actually a Muggleborn and something had to have happened to the muggles to make them give her up.

She couldn't decide which scenario was better and it was twisting her heart and mind into knots. Her eyes once again drifted to Dumbledore and Hermione knew that she wouldn't be able to go much longer without talking to the wizard.

She was terrified of what she would learn though and the fear was enough to hold her at bay. She shook her head and joined somewhat half-heartedly into the conversation around her listening to the boys and Ginny banter back and forth about Quidditch.

Gryffindor trials must be coming up soon and with most of the players having left last year; Hermione wandered who it was that was going to make the team. The trio finished their meal and saying goodbye to Ginny, they headed off to their next class. Thankfully, Hermione managed to keep her mind relatively on track and only slipped once or twice. She had all the notes she needed and sighed with relief when she finally caught up with all her subjects. She still had to read the texts, but other than that she was on top of things.

* * *

Harry Potter didn't like to butt into other people's business but his need to always be there for his friends was overriding that notion for today.

He had watched Hermione for two days now and could tell that something was wrong. She was vacant and flustered and when she thought no one was watching her face fell into such a deep look of sadness that his heart clenched.

Hermione was his closest friend and he would hate to think that she couldn't come to him when she was troubled. He waited until after dinner to confront her. Grabbing her arm he pulled her into a classroom and shut the door.

Hermione's eyebrows rose until they touched her hair. "Was there something you wanted to speak to me about Harry?" She questioned. "You could have asked." Harry snorted and sat on a desk in front of her. "'Mione, we both know that unless we are alone you won't answer any of my questions truthfully. So, this is me making sure that I get the honest truth." He ordered in a tone that brooked no argument.

He looked at Hermione and his eyes softened. "I love you 'mione, you know that. I don't want you to think that you can't ever come to me when you're in trouble. You can tell me anything."

Hermione's stern face melted into a smile and she fell into his arms. They shared a fierce hug that made Hermione feel better than she had in weeks. They sat next to each other on the ground with their backs against the wall and Hermione leaned her head on Harry's shoulder.

"Don't worry Harry, I could never forget. Sometimes I just get caught up in my own little world. Truthfully there is something on my mind at the moment but I just need to sort it all out before I can tell you okay?" there was no verbal conformation but Hermione felt him nod and she smiled softly.

"Thank you Harry. It means more than you know that you would take the time to talk." He just wrapped his arm around her shoulders and they sat for a while just chatting about inconsequential things.

When curfew was upon them, they stood and Harry walked with her back to her joint dorm. "How are things with Malfoy?" He asked. There was no malice or anything negative in his voice and he looked genuinely curious so Hermione replied that they hadn't had much contact so there hadn't been any hiccoughs. Harry kissed her on the cheek and left, telling her that he would see her at breakfast the next morning.

Smiling Hermione relayed the password and stepped inside. Nodding to Malfoy who was reading in front of the fire, she finally decided to take that bath.

Gathering her things she barricaded herself in the bathroom and filled the monumental bath to the brim with jasmine smelling bubble bath. Submerging herself, she scrubbed her skin and hair, washing them out. Surfacing she floated running through everything in her head.

In the back of her mind she knew that she probably should have told Harry what was going on but she couldn't help but be slightly pacified by her own response to his question.

What she really needed to do was find out as much information as she could and find out what the hell was going on. Once she had everything under control then she would tell people. She hadn't intended on telling Ginny anything at all. However she couldn't quite bring herself to regret the decision, it was good to have one person she could go to if everything got out of hand.

She couldn't help but remember her thoughts towards Dumbledore on the first night. What if he had known? Would it make a difference? Hermione thought on it and decided that as soon as was possible, she would go and talk to him. She would be polite no matter what he told her and would not lose her temper.

She didn't know who she was trying to convince though, not many people realised just how volatile she could get sometimes. Submerging herself again, she did a few laps before getting out and drying herself of.

For the first time in a long while her brain was relatively calm. She had thought rationally about what her next move was and now she just needed to play it out.

Unfortunately, no matter how calm she was, Hermione still didn't trust herself to be able to sleep without her potions. She was far too afraid of her own mind after her last dream. So changing into her muggle clothes she crawled beneath the covers and took her potion, making a mental note to replenish it soon. It was getting rather sparse.

* * *

The next week passed relatively quickly, almost as if the universe wanted to know the outcome of the night just as much as Hermione did. She spent most of each class catching up on her reading, taking enough notes to get her by.

She knew that her marks were not as high as they should be, but her anticipation for the conversation she was going to have with Dumbledore was eradicating everything else from her mind.

By Friday, Hermione had read all of her texts and was finally completely back on track. She was still rather quiet in class, a fact that was perplexing all of her teachers.

Snape was the only one that was outwardly gleeful. On the inside however he was concerned. He had noticed the drop in her grades and had listened to the speculations that went on between the teachers. While ordinarily he would be delighted at her silence, what he did not delight in was the way her grades were fluctuating. He would never admit it to anyone but it was people like Granger that kept him teaching. It was because of the occasionally brilliant student like granger that his faith in humanity wasn't crushed. She was bright and attentive and had a genuine thirst for knowledge that almost rivalled that of his own. Her insufferable need to show off her knowledge to everybody was what annoyed him the most, although he suspected that it was a by-product of the teasing and ridicule she got for being a Muggleborn. Still it was nice to get a break from her nattering even if it did worry him slightly.

Hermione couldn't help the dark mood that she fell into on Thursday. Every night so far she had tried to go to Dumbledore, she had been distracted. Harry and Ron wanted her to come to Quidditch tryouts, Ginny wanted to talk or she had to do her head girl rounds. She hadn't had a moment of peace other than to do her homework and that was mediocre at best.

It wasn't until Saturday afternoon that she finally had time to herself. She was a horrid mix of anticipation and nerves and it was making her feel slightly sick. So on her way to the headmaster's office she stopped once in a bathroom to give herself a silent pep talk.

Once she was sufficiently psyched up she made her way to the griffin and was surprised to find that it sprung open without her even needing to give a password. Inwardly she realised that she didn't even know the password and wandered how she would have gotten in if the statue hadn't moved.

Knocking softly on the door she took a deep breath and entered when she was beckoned. Dumbledore looked up from behind his desk and smiled softly, "Ah miss Granger, I had a feeling that you wanted to talk to me." Shaking her head minutely and forcing herself not to think about what that meant, Hermione spoke, "Professor Dumbledore, I was wandering if I might ask you something." Hermione's voice was quiet and tentative.

Dumbledore's nodded his approval and gestured to one of the chairs facing the desk. Hermione sat down and thought of how she would put her thoughts into a viable question. "Miss Granger, I find when having trouble voicing something, it is easier to just start at the beginning."

Hermione nodded and took a deep breath. "I had some interesting news over the summer sir." The brooding teenager started. "My parents informed me that I am not actually related to them and that I was adopted."

Hermione looked up from her hands and looked into those infuriatingly calm blue eyes. Dumbledore's face showed nothing other than a polite interest and she realised that she hadn't yet asked a question. Her eyes flicked down and she swallowed and steeled herself to ask one of the hardest things she had to date.

"I was wondering sir, if you knew anything about that." Had Hermione been looking at the professor, she would have seen a flicker of surprise cross Dumbledore's aqua eyes, astounded that the 17 year old was so perceptive. However, the girl was staring at her hands, hoping that she didn't come across completely rude.

"As much as it pains me to say this, Miss Granger, yes, I did have an inkling that you were not born of muggle parents."

Hermione's head snapped up and she filled with a raging fury. "You mean to tell me Professor, that you knew this whole time and you didn't tell me?"

Hermione tried to contain herself, but the knowledge that yet another person had lied to her made the fury rise and flood throughout her body, making it impossible to be the calm understanding young lady that she had been not a month ago.

"It was not my place to tell you Miss Granger and I think that when you have calmed down enough to view it from my perspective you will agree." Hermione swelled with anger and stood up.

"When I've calmed down? Professor how the hell would you react if you learned that everything you had been told and everything you believed was complete and utter bullshit? Would you sit there and calmly and rationally figure it all out? NO you would get up; you would yell at some people and figure out why the hell you had been lied to for SEVENTEEN YEARS!" She took a deep breath trying to quell her anger.

"I thought that getting lied to was the worst part of this whole thing. But it turns out that having someone who you thought gave a crap about you, had known all along and yet said nothing about it. You're just as bad as my parent's professor."

With those words the dam broke and tears chorused down Hermione's face. She turned and fled, not being able to stomach looking into those sympathetic blue eyes a second longer. As she ran down the stairs and shot past the griffin that stood guard over the Headmaster's office, she ran head long into a very hard body. Had she been in more command of her emotions she would have stopped and apologised profusely to the person on the receiving end. As it was she simply righted herself and kept on running.

Severus Snape scowled as he was ploughed into and fully intended on deducting as many points as possible from the culprit but didn't have a chance. He looked up to see one Hermione Granger sprinting away from him wiping at the tears on her face.

Instead the professor climbed the stairs and entered Dumbledore's office. "Headmaster?" He inquired. "What on Earth was wrong with Granger?" He asked looking into the sad twinkling depths of Dumbledore's eyes.

"You know better than anyone how harsh life can be when one is a teenager Severus. Miss Granger is just going through some things." His answer was rather vague, but the potions master knew it was the best answer he was going to get and so concentrated on what he had really come for.

Hermione ran until she found an empty classroom and started to fume. She paced until it receded and sat burying her hands in her hair. She stood and wiped the few stray tears from underneath her eyes and made her way back to her dorm the long way.

It was a delightful day outside so luckily she didn't run into anyone. Falling through her portrait hole she flopped onto one of the couches and looked at Draco who was in the couch opposite her.

"Fabulous day huh?" Draco drawled. Hermione sorted and couldn't help the grin that slipped onto her face. "Absolutely magical." She replied. They sat in a companionable silence until they got onto the subject of homework. They chatted amicably until dinner, both of them surprised at the amount of time that had passed.

Confused they walked to dinner and went to their respective tables, each lost in their own minds. Hermione sat next to Ginny, and looked over at Malfoy. "I don't know how it happened, but I think I just spent two and a half hours talking to Draco Malfoy."

Ginny choked on her pumpkin juice and turned to stare at her incredulously. "Are you shitting me? And he didn't call you a Mudblood once?"

Hermione cracked a smile at her phrase, "I shit you not Gin, he didn't insult me once, and dare I say it, I actually enjoyed our conversation." Ginny's mouth fell open and she reached out and put a hand on Hermione's forehead.

Hermione smiled and pushed Ginny off her. "Relax Gin; he's actually not as much of an asshole as he makes himself out to be." Ginny studied Hermione's face and realised that she hadn't seen her smile this much since the end of the last year.

It just frightened her that it was because of Malfoy.

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**Hey,  
I'm sorry it's been so long since I updated. Here is the next chapter; any mistakes in there are my own as I have no beta.  
Just thought I'd say thank you to anyone that added me to their favourites and alerts and to anyone that reviewed. You guys make my day.  
.Ronan xx**


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